Aging

Last night we watched Jennifer Grey, on Dancing with the Stars, say something like, "I'm frustrated.  My body won't do what I want it to."  I appreciated her honesty (well, at least it felt honest and I'm going with that, despite the fact she is an actress and who knows....)   But, anyway, she was met with a hug from her partner, Derek, 25 years her junior, along with messages like:  "You can do this!" and "Stay with it, you're not old!" and "Keep pushing, because you really want this!".  (I don't know the exact words that we heard, but those are the messages I felt the show was conveying.)  

I found this troubling and I was saddened by this missed opportunity.   I'm all for being tenacious and  sticking with something you commit to, but it's a shame that we didn't hear things like:  "Yes, at 50 we can't do what we did at 25!" and "Listen to your body, and your doctor, you are the age your body is telling you!" and "Don't push your body so much, because its messages are loud and clear.  Listen to them."   Granted, as a viewer, I would be sad if I didn't get to see Jennifer's elegant body and dancing for a few more weeks, but I'd forgo that if we could walk away with these positive messages about our bodies and the aging process.

I grapple with this aging stuff, each and every day.  I am thankful to G-d every morning, grateful that I wake up and have another day.  And as a result of this gratitude, I have chosen to take a different approach to aging.  I am trying to look at each new wrinkle as a badge of honor that I earned.  I also subscribe to Mark Twain's theory that, "Wrinkles are merely indications of where smiles have been."  Yet, our culture is telling me to fight this positive, self-nurturing approach, to "fight the signs of aging".  I have chosen to not join the bandwagon of fighting the signs of aging.  Sure, I do wear make-up to try to bring the sparkle back into my face, but the only fight that I am willing to have is with the cultural message to fight aging.  Aging is what we do, if we are lucky, so why fight it?

I'm not willing to turn the clock back.  What I am willing to do is take all the rich lessons that I have learned from my past into this present moment as I look in the mirror right now and smile and earn more wrinkles.  I invite you to join me.